Dispatches of a San Francisco Liberal from Rocklin, California
Listen to Kevin read this post.
“When did an act of love change everything for you?”
My dear friend Valarie Kaur asked me this question as I joined her on stage during her 45-city, Revolutionary Love Tour. What a rush for me to be with her in Rocklin, a small community in the California Central Valley. Both of us were born and raised in the Central Valley, and it felt like a homecoming. The more we spoke, the more we found alignment in the worlds we hope to foster.
Valarie and I met last summer at a Global Leadership Summit in Johannesburg, South Africa. As we each took the stage at the Summit, we were compelled to conclude that we were connected. “When I saw you speak, the doors of my heart flung open,” Valarie said. “I told myself I need to know this person.” Without a doubt, I felt the same. That evening, we sat together, talked and told stories and sealed our bond of friendship by dancing to Bob Marley’s “Three Little Birds.”
That night in Rocklin, I shared that our journey to this moment began not in South Africa, but 100 years earlier with our respective grandfathers — Kehar Singh and Bert Fong. Each of these men traveled halfway across the world from their homelands to San Francisco. Before being allowed entry into the United States, they were processed at the Angel Island Immigration Station.
“Unlike Ellis Island which welcomed the tired and poor from Europe, Angel Island was built to detain, interrogate, and deport as many of our ancestors (from Asia) as possible,” said Valarie. “That’s how our story begins, a hundred years ago, through an act of love that changed everything.”
“Our grandfathers’ grace, grit, determination, and hope, made it possible for our parents to be right here witnessing the two of us manifest our ancestor’s wildest dreams,” I replied. In fact, Valarie’s mother and my father sat smiling in the auditorium’s front row. We both waved to them, feeling their pride and joy as we brought our ancestral wisdom to share with the world.
The fact that Valarie and I could now come together as friends on this stage was the result of a chain of events made possible by acts of Revolutionary Love.
We went on to discuss pivotal times that shaped our lives: 9/11 for Valarie and the AIDS Pandemic for me. We talked about how these times compelled us to tap into the wisdom of our ancestors — the Sage-Warrior (sant-sipahi) for Valarie, and The Five Elements for me — to seek guidance on our paths as activists, writers and organizers. We talked about the shared values of our cultural teachings — balance, interconnection, joy, service, and love.
When we turned to the room filled with high school students and their families, Valerie asked me, “What is one thing you’d like to share with these students?”
“I want them to ask themselves, what is your gift?” I offered, reflecting on the teachings of my mentor, Aunty Puanani Burgess. “Can you see your gifts? Can you name those who see that gift in you?”
I added that to thrive, you must surround yourself with people who see and nurture your gift. “If you can do that, if we each can do that, we can change the world.”
As the evening concluded, I encountered a young person, Jay, who approached me to ask for my autograph. That was a first! But as I looked into Jay’s eyes, I couldn’t help but recall myself as a high school student — surrounded by love but still questioning how I fit in. I remembered that same wondering about where I might belong in the world. And I saw in Jay a tremendous courage to approach me hoping for an answer to that wondering.
Jay’s sister approached, accompanied by twin brother and parents, and soon I felt taken in by this wonderful family
I later received a text from Jay’s mom — “My kiddos can’t stop talking about how awesome it was meeting you! Thank you for being such an awesome role model.”
Love is more than a rush of feeling, Valarie writes in her book Sage Warrior. Love is sweet labor — fierce, demanding, life-giving, a choice we make again and again. Revolutionary Love is the choice to enter into labor — for others, our opponents, and ourselves — to transform the world around us.
The transformative spark that arose in my interaction with Jay is what Revolutionary Love is all about — calling forth wisdom from our ancestors, cultures and life experiences to clear pathways for future generations so that they can manifest their gifts as sant-siphai, Sage-Warriors.
The Five Elements speaks of an individual known as the Facilitator, who acts as the hub of the wheel, bringing everything together to work for the good of all. As Valerie boarded the bus for her next stop of her national Revolutionary Love Tour, I wished her well and thought about our grandparents, parents and children, and how she and I are Facilitators of wisdom for these next generations.
“Everything’s gonna be alright”, I said to myself, seeing in my dear friend the auspicious signs of a woman who was just the right Facilitator to manifest a future where we might lift our chins and once again be filled with hope and joy.
Questions for Reflection and Discussion
When did an act of love change everything?
What is your gift? What do you need — from yourself and from others — to manifest your gift — everyday in every way?
Stay tuned for my next dispatch from Miami, Florida, where I spent two days with unsung municipal leaders who gathered in circle to plan for the upcoming storm season.
Kevin John Fong is an internationally recognized cultural translator, facilitator, and speaker in transformative justice, leadership development, and building beloved communities. Kevin is the Founder of the Kahakulei Institute, whose mission is to weave people and possibilities to cultivate communities of belonging.
Kevin is a featured host on the CNBC News series, Changing the Narrative, and the author of, “The Five Elements: An East Asian Approach to Achieve Organizational Health, Professional Growth, and Personal Well-Being.”
Most importantly, Kevin is the child of Bob and Mary; the spouse of Greg; and the parent of Rafael, Santiago and Conner. Kevin lives in the traditional land of the Ramaytush Ohlone people, now known as San Francisco, CA.
Find out more about Valarie Kaur and Sage Warrior at https://valariekaur.com/books/sage-warrior/
Fing out more about Kevin John Fong and The Five Elements at https://my5elements.life/
